In the beginning of January, I saw many people glowing with a renewed energy to work towards personal improvement goals. Now with the end of January approaching, I find myself wondering how people are doing with their efforts and enthusiasm. As a therapist, I love seeing people setting and achieving goals, so I always hope for the best for people; however, New Year’s resolutions have never been a practice that strongly resonated for me personally, and my skepticism has deepened after learning that less than 10-20% of people typically achieve their New Year’s resolutions.
I generally know the reasons why the success rate is so poor, especially considering we see the same barriers in the counseling process sometimes. Time or other resources may be limited. Priorities may shift. Goals may be too vague or unrealistic. The novelty or excitement may fade. People may not actually to do the work for significant change.
Knowing growth can be challenging and life can be unpredictable, I have considered the following alternative ways to bring intentionality to the changing of the calendar year:
Identifying a Focal Value
With this, you identify a word that represents what you would like to manifest throughout your year. You may choose a value like “balance,” “connection,” “gratitude,” “health,” et cetera, and then consider how you can embody that throughout the year. The nice thing about this is that there is space for creativity and flexibility. If what you decided to do to embody the value becomes infeasible, boring, or not a good fit, you can easily switch things up without feeling like you have failed at your intention. If you decide on health but find going to the gym for 1 hour 5 days a week is not realistically in the time or financial budget as the year progresses, you can pivot to eating better, going to the doctor, or taking a 10-minute walk at lunch. Alternatively, if you decide on gratitude and find that making a list each day becomes something you dread due to feeling boring or chore-like, you could switch to sending people a kind note once a month or participating in a gratitude meditation.
Marking Memories
For this practice, you may buy a planner or download an app that allows you to record something about each day that you would like to remember (for those who hate extensive journaling, this can be adapted to a bullet point sentence to trigger the memory). At the end of the year, you can look back to reminisce and reflect on the moments that may have otherwise faded into the blur of the year. It may also offer hope to see the happy moments and growth of the previous year and know that the coming year will hold its own such opportunities.
Regardless of what you choose—be it one of these, New Year’s resolutions, or something else—it’s important to find practices that foster intentionality and growth. If you would like help customizing and developing that practice, feel free to make an appointment with us at [email protected] or by contacting us via phone at (270) 943-7818. You can also learn more about the topics we support by visiting https://www.amandapatrickmft.com/ and clicking on the “Services” tab at the top.