All of us would like to be successful at everything we do. No one likes to fail or not hit their achievements the way they thought they should. But, we live in an imperfect world. You’re not always going to get the gold, and you’re going to experience some roadblocks as you walk through life.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for people to be their own toughest critic. As the old saying goes, you are your own worst enemy. While it’s not the case for everyone, it’s very easy to let negative self-talk take hold and criticize yourself for your “failures” more than you would another person.
So, what can you do to break that cycle of negativity? How can you cope with feelings of underachievement and show yourself grace?
Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
When was the last time you actively felt grateful for your life and the things in it? Even when something goes wrong or when things feel “bad,” chances are you have at least one thing to be grateful for.
But, gratitude is often quickly covered by negativity. It’s easier to see the bad than the good, and that can change your entire outlook on things.
One of the best ways to deal with feelings of underachievement is to be grateful, anyway. Focus on the things you’re thankful for, instead of the failures or unaccomplished goals. It can completely change the direction of your attitude and help you to see yourself in a more positive light.
Don’t Focus On Your Failures
Some of the most successful people in the world once dealt with colossal failures. But, they didn’t see their underachievements as a reason to throw in the towel. If they did, we wouldn’t have things like Disney films or Apple computers.
Instead of focusing on your failures, focus on the journey. Don’t strive for perfection because it simply isn’t achievable. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your best in whatever you’re doing, but it’s important to have the right mindset and realistic expectations.
If you do experience failure of any kind, use it as a way to learn and grow. The next time you try something, you’ll have more experience and knowledge than you did before, and you can apply it accordingly.
Be Self-Compassionate
If a close friend or family member felt like an underachiever, what would you do? If you heard someone you care about talking poorly about themselves, how would you react?
Chances are, you would do whatever you could to comfort them, reassure them, and provide them with positive encouragement.
It’s important to treat yourself with the same compassion and grace. Silence negative self-talk with things like positive affirmations and recognizing your worth. You love your friends and family, but it’s just as essential to love yourself.
Let It Go
Finally, let go of the things that are holding you back from self-compassion. Did you make a mistake? It happens. Fix it or apologize for it, and keep moving forward. Chances are, you’ll be the only one holding onto it if you do.
Of course, that’s often easier said than done. Showing yourself grace doesn’t come naturally for everyone. It’s okay if you need to reach out for help and support.
Anxiety Therapy is often the best way to do that. By working with a therapist, you’ll learn how to recognize your worth and truly learn to love yourself. You’ll also learn healthy mechanisms for coping with feelings of underachievement. Being able to show yourself grace throughout life is a huge gift, and a skill that will make it easier to keep learning and growing with confidence. Reach out to learn more.