Suspecting a loved one has an eating disorder can feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Undoubtedly, your friend or family member is struggling with something bigger, and you don’t want to make that worse by bringing up what you’ve noticed.
But, you also don’t want to see them suffer and potentially destroy their body. You can’t let it go, and you can’t ignore it. Eating disorders can lead to a variety of health conditions, and even death. But, they have to be handled delicately.
So, how can you truly help the person you care about if you suspect they have an eating disorder?
Educate Yourself
One of the best things you can do before talking to your loved one is to educate yourself on eating disorders, including some of the common signs and symptoms, as well as the causes. While the signs can fluctuate, you might notice things like an obsession with food, or a lack of interest in food. They might have dramatic weight loss or sudden abdominal issues with no other explanation.
There are different types of eating disorders, and educating yourself on as many as possible will help you understand what your friend might be dealing with, so you can approach them the right way.
Be Careful With Conversation
No one wants to be confronted. If you’re concerned that someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, carefully plan how and when you talk to them about it. Try to choose an environment where that person feels comfortable, and make sure you have enough time to have a full conversation in private.
Additionally, instead of asking your friend what’s going on or “accusing” them of disordered eating, consider asking about their thoughts on food, weight, or even their appearance. It can open up a door that triggers a more natural conversation about their feelings.
While your nerves might try to get the best of you, don’t wait too long before initiating a conversation. Don’t assume that you have a lot of time. You don’t know how long this person has been dealing with disordered eating, and how much it might have already affected their health.
Lead With Compassion
When you do finally have a conversation with your loved one, lead with compassion and not judgment. Don’t tell them how they look and don’t give them “simple” advice to start eating or changing their habits. Remember that an eating disorder is a mental health condition. It’s not something they can turn on and off.
Instead, express that you’re worried about them. Let them know that you want to help, and you want to support them as they work through these issues. It might take them a while to come to terms with their feelings and what they’re struggling with, and they could use a support system in the process.
When your loved one is ready to get help, be there for them. Look up treatment centers and offer to go with them to appointments. Not only will it hold them accountable, but it will remind them that they aren’t alone in the recovery process.
Set a good example, yourself. When your loved one sees you eating a healthy diet, getting an appropriate amount of physical activity, and enjoying life without severely restricting food, they might start to feel like they can do the same.
Your loved one doesn’t need you to be their hero. They need you to be someone who stands by their side while they figure things out and accept that they need help. Don’t wait to offer that support. Encourage them to reach out to learn more about eating disorder therapy.