Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world. While symptoms can vary, there’s one underlying issue that people dealing with depression often struggle with — self-criticism.
It’s common for everyone to “judge” themselves occasionally. But, depression tends to create a vicious cycle when it comes to your self-esteem and sense of worth. The more depressed you feel, the more critical you’re likely to become of your thoughts and behaviors. Unfortunately, those negative thoughts can worsen your sadness and hopelessness, perpetuating the cycle.
So, why do these issues intertwine? What’s the role of self-criticism in depression?
The Root of Depression
People experience depression for a variety of reasons. But, when you look at the underlying causes, you might develop a better idea of why depression and self-criticism are so closely linked.
Depression is often caused by difficult life circumstances. Maybe you went through a traumatic event at a young age. Maybe you were abused or neglected somehow. These negative events can change how you look at the world around you, but they can also shape how you see yourself.
Self-criticism can often start out as a way to protect yourself. You might think if you can think poorly about yourself, it won’t hurt so badly when you experience more hardships in life. Unfortunately, that isn’t a sustainable way of thinking, and it often backfires.
Perpetuating Depression
As humans, the longer we hear something about ourselves, the easier it becomes to believe. So, if you’re engaging in negative self-talk every day, you’ll eventually believe all of those harmful things are true. That perpetuates sadness, and you might even wonder why you exist or your purpose.
Feelings of worthlessness will make your depression worse. This negative self-talk can lead you to believe you’re not worthy of love, a happy life, or even a future. Obviously, that can lead to dark and dangerous places.
On the other hand, some people who engage in self-criticism with depression try to make up for it by becoming people-pleasers or perfectionists. Again, that’s not a sustainable way of living. When you put the needs of others before your own and it takes away from your quality of life, your depression is likely to become worse.
Perfectionism might not seem like a negative thing on the surface. But it’s another self-fulfilling prophecy. Perfection isn’t possible. If you develop unrealistic standards, you will criticize yourself every time those standards aren’t met.
What Can You Do?
If this cycle sounds familiar, you’re not alone. There are ways to break free and find happiness while showing self-compassion.
First, take note of when your self-critical thoughts start to creep in. Are there things that trigger them? The more self-aware you are, the easier it will be to fight back against negative self-talk.
Next, show yourself kindness. If a friend or family member came to you and started saying negative things about themselves, you would probably correct them immediately and start listing their positive qualities. Don’t hesitate to do the same for yourself.
Finally, reach out for professional help. If there’s a silver lining to depression, it’s that it is often very manageable. But, it’s not something you should try to tackle on your own. One of the best ways to combat depression is to get to the root cause. A therapist can help you get there while teaching strategies for symptom management. Therapy can also help to silence your inner critic while boosting your self-esteem.
If you’re struggling with depression and you feel like it’s taken a toll on how you see yourself, don’t hesitate to contact us soon for depression therapy.