Attachment trauma refers to any disruption in the bond between two people — specifically, two people in a family system. When that bond is consistently disrupted, it can have a severe impact on an individual’s future relationships. 

We most often associate attachment trauma with parent-child relationships. Things like abuse or neglect are common forms of attachment trauma that can leave a lasting impact. 

But, because attachment trauma most often occurs in childhood, many people will try to repress or push down the way they’re feeling. There are some things, however, that can’t be ignored. Maybe you’ve had difficulties with relationships for a while, and you’re not sure why. Recognizing some of the common signs of attachment trauma can help you determine if a broken bond from your past is the culprit. 

With that in mind, let’s cover six common signs of attachment trauma in adults. 

1. Relationship Problems

People have relationship issues for a variety of reasons. But, if you’ve noticed a pattern in your relationships, it could be a red flag for attachment trauma. People with this type of trauma tend to have a hard time either forming or keeping healthy relationships. 

Things like insecurities can cause dependency. You might have a fear of being abandoned, so you need constant reassurance from partners. On the other hand, you might try to keep people at arm’s length to protect yourself. 

2. Emotional Dysregulation

Do you have a hard time controlling your emotions? Maybe you don’t even always understand them. 

It’s not uncommon for adults with attachment trauma to experience emotional outbursts, including anger. You might display intense emotions, even when a situation doesn’t necessarily warrant that kind of response. 

3. Feelings of Shame

Shame, guilt, and humiliation are unfortunate symptoms of many trauma survivors. Even if you did nothing wrong, it’s easy to feel guilty about the things you’re dealing with now. Or you might try to explain away what happened in the past by blaming yourself. 

Carrying around heavy shame and guilt will not only damage your self-esteem, but can attract you to unhealthy and potentially emotionally abusive relationships. 

4. Susceptible to Mental Health Conditions

Adults with attachment trauma are often more likely to deal with mental health issues, like anxiety or depression. 

When you internalize your emotions or don’t know how to express them in healthy ways, it can quickly become overwhelming. You might be hypervigilant about everything, causing fear and stress, or you might feel like things are hopeless, leading to extreme sadness. 

5. The Use of Distractors

When people aren’t able to regulate their emotions in healthy, effective ways, they often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. As a result, it’s not uncommon for adults who have experienced attachment trauma to struggle with substance abuse. They might turn to alcohol or drugs to “numb” the feelings they can’t explain. 

Others might turn to things like food, pornography, or anything else that can ease their emotions, even for a little while. 

6. Fear of Abandonment

We touched on it earlier, but a fear of abandonment or rejection is often a clear sign of attachment trauma. 

As children, it’s essential to form a safe, secure, and loving bond with your caregiver. If you don’t experience that or it’s disturbed somehow, it can leave you feeling uneasy and cause you to develop a fear of being left alone. That often carries over into adult relationships. 

If any of these signs sound familiar, it’s never too late to get the help you deserve. Therapy is often the best way to deal with attachment trauma. It will help you better understand where it comes from while offering effective strategies to overcome it. 

You don’t have to deal with the lasting effects of attachment trauma forever. Contact me soon to set up an appointment for trauma counseling.