Sex can be a healthy part of a romantic relationship. It’s something you and your partner should enjoy, but also something that’s meant to increase your intimacy and your bond. 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where a lot of pressure is put on couples when it comes to sex. You might find yourself thinking you’re not having it enough, or it should be “different” somehow. 

There isn’t an ideal situation for sex in relationships. Sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all practice. Rather, it should be something unique to you and your partner. As long as you both feel fulfilled and you’re communicating about your sex life, chances are things are perfectly healthy and normal. 

Still not sure? Let’s dig a little deeper into what a healthy sex life should look like, and some of the stereotypes you should ignore. 

How Often Should You Have Sex?

This is probably the most common question couples have about their sex life. The good news? There really isn’t a wrong answer. 

The average couple has sex about once a week. Obviously, some couples will engage in it more frequently while others might have it a lot less. The frequency of your sex life isn’t necessarily a good indicator of your relationship health. If you’re having other issues in the relationship and your sex life is lacking because of it, it’s important to resolve those problems. But, if you’re both happy with how often you’re having sex, don’t let societal norms or unrealistic expectations pressure you into anything more. 

Factors That Can Impact Your Sex Life

There are a variety of things that can impact not only how often you have sex, but the way you view sex in your relationship. 

Stress

Stress is a big factor. You’re probably not going to be having sex as frequently if one or both of you are going through a lot of stress. Keep in mind that stress doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. Maybe you’re just overwhelmed by a busy schedule at work, or you’re trying to keep up with your kids. Stress is often a normal part of life. 

Children

Children, on their own, can impact your sex life. Whether they’re infants or teenagers, you might not have sex as often with children in the house because other things take priority. 

Health

Health can be another factor that impacts your sex life — whether it’s your mental or physical well-being. Make sure you and your partner are practicing self-care and prioritizing your health every day. 

Communication

Most people understand the importance of communication in a relationship. But, it has more impact on a healthy sex life than you might think. 

If you’re not feeling fulfilled in your sex life for any reason, consider how well you and your partner are communicating. Do you feel like you can be open and vulnerable with them? Are you having a hard time expressing your needs? 

Communication issues can directly impact intimacy and fulfillment. Even if you’re having sex frequently, you might find that you’re not content because you’re not feeling the connection you should. 

Fostering a Healthy Sex Life

Again, there are many factors that can impact your sex life in a relationship. Don’t put so much focus on how often you’re having sex just because you think you have to hit a specific number. 

Instead, focus on the quality of your intimacy. If there are issues keeping you from having a fulfilling sex life, address them with your partner. If you find that’s hard to do on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about couples therapy. A healthy sex life is possible no matter the stage of your relationship, and it’s okay to work with a professional who can support you through it.