Most people would probably agree that infidelity in relationships is wrong. We watch movies about it, listen to songs about it, and the subject of infidelity is usually associated with someone “bad” or someone else confronting that person.

But infidelity in real life can feel much worse than what it looks like in the movies. The songs you hear about it might take on new meaning, and you might feel a complete betrayal from someone you thought you knew and loved.

So, how common is cheating, really? Is it just something dramatic we like to see on the big screen, or does it happen more often than most people think? More importantly, what should you do about it?

Cheating Is Fairly Common

Unfortunately, infidelity affects about 25% of relationships. That number might seem alarming, at first, but it’s important to consider that everyone’s definition of cheating is different. People can report their experiences in a number of different ways, so what you might consider to be infidelity wouldn’t be the same for someone else.

Still, there’s no denying that’s a large number, and it probably doesn’t bring you much comfort. If you’re already reading this, maybe you’re dealing with suspicions about your own partner, or wondering how to recover when infidelity has affected your relationship.

Is Cheating Becoming More Common?

It’s hard to say whether infidelity is becoming more common than it used to be. But, there are plenty of factors that suggest it could be.

Technology, for example, often plays a big role in today’s relationships — including the unfaithful ones. It’s very easy to interact with other people online, meet strangers, or even simply chat or text with people outside of your relationship with no intention of doing anything physical. This can create a lot of gray area, which is why it’s important for both you and your partner to have clear definitions of what infidelity really is.

What Are the Signs of Cheating?

Again, everyone is different. Some people, oddly enough, are very good at keeping things hidden. It’s why some are able to get away with infidelity for years without getting caught. But, there are often some red flags to look for.

Changes in communication are often the most obvious signs of infidelity in a relationship. If your partner is less open than they used to be or they avoid sharing details about their life, there could be something going on they don’t want you to know about.

Other common signs of infidelity include secrecy, emotional distancing, new interests, and even changes in intimacy within your relationship.

Keep in mind that these potential red flags don’t always mean your partner is cheating. Maybe they’re going through a stressful time or something else is happening in their life that’s distracting them. While it can be tempting to jump to conclusions, your relationship deserves better than that.

What Can You Do?

Again, talking to your partner about what you think cheating is should be a top priority fairly early in your relationship. It might not seem like a fun—or even comfortable—conversation, but it’s important for both of you to have that clarity.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, confront them about it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should start hurling accusations, but talk to them about your concerns and foster a healthy conversation.

Even though infidelity is fairly common, that doesn’t mean it will hurt less if you discover your partner is cheating. You’ll have to evaluate whether you want to remain in the relationship. Most importantly, though, you’ll need to take care of yourself, and you don’t have to do that on your own. If you’re wondering about the next steps or just looking for someone to talk to, feel free to reach out and set up an appointment for couples counseling soon.