Emotional regulation refers to a person’s ability to manage and respond to everyday experiences in healthy, effective ways. We have to learn to control how we behave and how we react to things on a daily basis.

While that might seem like second nature to some, emotional regulation is actually a skill. Unfortunately, it’s a skill some people tend to struggle with for a variety of reasons. Some of those reasons could even stem back to childhood. If you experienced an insecure attachment or even abuse or neglect, you might have a harder time with emotional regulation. Dealing with the effects of trauma can also disrupt your emotional regulation.

Thankfully, there are things you can do to improve it. Let’s take a look at a few simple emotional regulation tools for your daily life that can make it easier for you to gain control over your emotional state and respond to things appropriately.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a healthy and effective technique that can ground you in the present and help you let go of the “what ifs” of a situation.

Mindfulness allows you to give your full attention to a specific moment. You can focus on what you’re feeling in that moment and observe your emotions, rather than letting them take control of your behaviors.

2. Deep Breathing

Deep breathing and mindfulness often go hand-in-hand, but they can be done separately. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, stop what you’re doing and take a few slow, deep breaths.

Controlled breaths can help to calm your nervous system, bring you back to the present, and make it easier to take control of your emotions.

3. Get Physical

Physical exercise is great for your overall mental well-being. It can also serve as a strong way to regulate your emotions, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Exercise releases endorphins in the body that boost your mood and energy. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with negativity or your thoughts are trying to stir up intense emotions, performing some kind of physical activity can help you stay grounded.

That doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon or even hit the gym every day. Find something that you actually enjoy doing. You’ll look forward to it and be more likely to stick with it as a regular practice.

4. Accept and Acknowledge

Some people have a hard time with emotional regulation because they want to push their feelings down or try to ignore them.

Emotions always demand to be felt.

You might be able to shove them down for a while, but they will eventually bubble up and rise to the surface, and likely be more intense than before.

Be sure you’re acknowledging your feelings, even when they’re negative. In doing so, they’re less likely to be so extreme. Giving something like an emotion a name can help you feel more in control. It makes the emotion less scary and mysterious, so you feel more equipped to handle it.

5. Positive Self-Talk

As the old saying goes, you are your own worst enemy. It’s not uncommon for people to end up being harsh personal critics. However, that can make emotional regulation more difficult.

Choose to engage in positive self-talk every day. That might include repeating a mantra in the mirror or writing good things about yourself in a journal. These habits can build up your self-esteem and resilience, making it easier to manage even the most intense emotions.

While these everyday regulation tools can make a big difference, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Getting to the bottom of why you might have emotional regulation struggles can also be a big help. The best way to do that is by working with a mental health professional. If you’re ready to take that step to dig deep and build emotional regulation skills, reach out for anxiety counseling today.