Hannah Erwin, MWS, CSW
“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.” I ran across this quote recently written by author Ernest Hemingway from his novel, A Farewell to Arms, published in 1929. I’m no literary expert, so I won’t claim to know the exact context for which this quote was meant, but as I read it, I felt a strong connection to its truth. For something to have been written 90+ years ago, it seems so relevant. I immediately linked this idea it to our society’s current outlook on mental health. So many people are bravely and quietly suffering. All too many can understand the silent pain of “pulling yourself up by the bootstraps” despite facing internal struggle.
There are a multitude of reasons why we don’t speak up about our hardships and how it’s impacting our mental wellbeing. Maybe we don’t want to burden others. Maybe we think it’s impolite to speak publically about private matters. But in all truthfulness, the bravery is in speaking up. The real courage comes when you’re terrified; when your voice is shaking and you finally open up and get real about what you’re going through.
Stigma is a key tenet behind our fear. Stigma is the perceived mark of disapproval or disgrace placed on a person that excludes them from the rest of society. We all want to belong and be in relationship with others. We have this deep rooted fear that if we share openly about our mental health or any struggles we’re facing that we will be deemed as defective or undesirable in the eyes of others. Friends, please hear me when I say, that the most courageous and admirable thing you can do in the midst of the heavy fog of suffering is reach out and ask for help. Those who are able to say “screw the stigma” and “I don’t care anymore about what people will think,” have taken the first resolute step forward into a better life.
Tips for countering the stigma:
1. Remember that mental health is just as important as physical health. No one is looked down upon for having high blood pressure or any other physical condition. People are even praised for exercising and monitoring their diet. The same should be true for people who are experiencing depression or any other mental condition. People should in the same way, be celebrated for seeking help and going to therapy.
2. Check yourself. Have you used phrases like, “I’m so OCD,” in a joking manner when maybe you really mean that you like organization? Sometimes the way we speak can unknowingly perpetuate stereotypes. Once we become aware, we can begin to make meaningful changes for the better.
3. Choose openness, encouragement, and compassion. When you are honest and use empowering words to talk about mental health, others will follow your lead.
4. Educate yourself and others. Ask questions and be curious to learn more about things you are unfamiliar with. The more you know, the less scary these topics become! Share what you’ve learned with the people in your life. The ripple effect is real! When you share with people in your life, and they in turn share with people in their lives, you have become the catalyst for change!
If you are curious to learn more about our unique approach to therapy, and how we seek to remove barriers that make it sometimes scary to kick start your journey, please reach out as we would love to connect! You can reach us at [email protected] or via phone at 270-943-7818. You can also learn more about our services by clicking here: https://www.amandapatrickmft.com/services We even offer yoga and meditation for mental health.