Erin Evans, M.Ed., LPCA, NCC
October generally hosts lots of enjoyable activities like lovely weather, tasty drinks, firepits, weddings, fall fests, and Halloween. However, it is also host to efforts to raise awareness about a tougher topic… domestic violence (DV). Kentucky is among the states with the highest rates of domestic violence, with 45.3% of Kentucky women and 35.5% of Kentucky men experiencing violence or rape at the hands of an intimate partner during their lifetime (NCADV). Despite its high frequency, people often misunderstand what constitutes domestic violence and what its recovery process looks like.
According to NCDAV, “domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one partner against another.” Three out of five descriptors in that definition focus on violence using one body to hurt another body, but I believe the emphasis belongs on the systemic pattern of power and control. The physical aspects of DV are perhaps the most easily recognizable and immediately dangerous to one’s life, but DV occurs through a wide range of additional methods (as illustrated by the Power and Control Wheel) that can be more subtle and arguably more torturous. As evident on the Wheel, abusers frequently use verbal, emotional, and financial abuse as well as social isolation tactics. Such tactics can damage self-esteem, increase depression and anxiety, lead to the development of PTSD and CPTSD, erode relationships, and cause hardship that continues long after survivors leave the relationship.