If you could require one class that would be taught to all people, and they would learn it well, what would it be? I can think of a few strong contenders, but I believe I would ultimately choose communication. When done well, it can make most any task or relationship much easier. When we communicate poorly, though, even easy tasks or good relationships can quickly become a nightmare with wasted time, unnecessary mistakes, added frustration and hurt feelings, and damaged relationships. Considering we communicate constantly, having the skills to do it well could significantly improve our lives. However, communication is a broad and somewhat fuzzy topic. We must break it down a bit to identify where improvements can be made.
From the big picture, communication involves sharing information with others. We do that through a variety of “channels” or methods—written word, spoken word, body language, tone, choices in attire or activities, photos, et cetera. Sometimes we choose the information and channel intentionally, and sometimes the communication happens without our awareness.
The basic process involves a “sender” (person) who has a “message” (information to share) that they encode and transmit along a “channel” (method of communication) that gets “decoded” (interpreted) by a “receiver” who then provides “feedback” (a response).
The Transactional Communication Model gets a bit more complicated, but it can shed some light on where communication challenges may arise. It acknowledges that communication is a nuanced, interactive process in which we are simultaneously a sender and receiver trying to create a shared understanding. It also notes that during this process, a variety of contexts influence the way we formulate and interpret messages. These include physical (environmental factors), psychological (distracting thoughts, emotional states, or intelligence abilities), social (rules and norms), relational (personal history and relationship type), and cultural aspects.
Altogether, communication challenges can arise at any point along the basic process due to the contexts highlighted by the Transactional Model. Some challenges include:
Having the courage or confidence to send important messages
Being unaware of the messages we send and/or not attending to the feedback on our messages
Using a communication channel that does not sufficiently convey all the information
Choosing an environment that is not appropriate for the tone or distracts from our message
Ignoring possible psychological, social, relational, or cultural elements that influence our message, the feedback we receive, and our understanding of the messages others send
Assuming we understand correctly rather than using active listening skills to improve the accuracy of our interpretations
To begin making improvements, it can help to consider what factors have influenced you and how you send a message. From there, identify the message you would like to send, and the communication strategy that would best help you convey the information. As the sender, you may need to be mindful of how the listener is receiving your message and ask for feedback if you need it. As the listener, it helps to be mindful of what factors may influence how you understand the message and use active listening skills to clarify as needed before responding.
Over the coming weeks, we will share additional tools to improve communication. If you would like individual and personalized support, feel free to make an appointment with us at [email protected] or by contacting us via phone at (270) 943-7818. You can also learn more about the topics we support by visiting https://www.amandapatrickmft.com/ and clicking on the “Services We Support” tab at the top.