In his poem “The Blind Men and the Elephant,” John Godfrey Saxe recounts a tale of 6 blind men who attempted to understand and describe an elephant. Each of the men touched a different part of the elephant and naturally reported very different perceptions. After hearing each person’s verdict, they proceeded to fiercely argue; each was convinced of the absolute correctness of their conclusion, “though each was partly in the right, and all were very wrong.”
Although the message is clear in the story—where you are standing will influence what you experience, how you interpret the situation, and what/how you then communicate—we frequently fall victim to the same mistake encountered by the blind men. We believe we have the most accurate view of reality and expect others to automatically see it the same way. Failing to realize that we have but a piece of the whole picture while others hold other equally real and valid parts quickly sets us up for miscommunication.
Improving communication, therefore, involves stepping out of the tunnel vision we get to reach a more open-minded state where we can communicate with greater awareness and curiosity. In this state, we may ask ourselves several important questions:
How does where I’m standing impact what I see and how I communicate?
How could where they’re standing impact what they see and how they communicate?
How could both perspectives and styles be a valid part of an even larger whole?
How do we build a bridge between us?
If you want to dig further into what you see and how you communicate, consider the following:
How do/does my…
Age
Generation
Gender
Religion
Skin color
Language
Culture
Family history
Work experiences
Community
Roles
Hobbies
Values
…impact how I make sense of and respond to the world?
How might my/the…
Word choices
Tone and volume
Body language
Physical appearance (clothes, hair, tattoo, makeup)
Physical distance/closeness
Purchases
Places I do or don’t spend time
Activities I engage in
Photos
…be received and interpreted by others?
There is more still to learn about communication, but for now, the more aware you can be of yourself, others, and the bigger picture that is respected as not fully known, the more easily you can prevent or catch potential miscommunications. If you need support gaining awareness of your worldview and communication style, feel free to schedule with us at [email protected] or 270-943-7818. You can also learn more about the topics we support by visiting https://www.amandapatrickmft.com/ and clicking on the “Topics We Support” tab at the top.